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Relaxing enough to open that second sphincter is hard for most people; this is part of the reason why anal sex has a reputation for being difficult and painful. On top of this, I experience an added barrier to totally relaxing during sex. I am a survivor of a lot of violence, including a lot of sexual violence, and I live with Complex-PTSD. This means that sex, even under the safest circumstances with the most trusted partner, is tricky terrain to navigate. I can easily become triggered or feel stressed out. This additional stress and tension makes receiving anal penetration even harder.
My C-PTSD also makes it difficult for me to communicate during sex. My trauma often makes me go nonverbal. Working on the safety and trust I need with partners in order to speak during sex is an ongoing process. I have to get creative and find ways to communicate non-verbally, and I need to do a lot of communication before having sex. Anal sex, in particular, requires a lot of communication from the receptive partner. The receptive partner is the one who knows when to push a little more, when to slow down, and when to stop. The receptive partner is the one who knows when it hurts and when it feels good. Because I have difficulty communicating verbally during sex, I face another barrier to having good anal sex.
I wanted to try it since i was a teen, but i had no idea how to relax, and no one tried to teach me. It was not until i brought a butt plug that i realised i could take something big, and when i did finally find a guy to have anal sex with it was amazing. I felt so submissive. Now I love it
Combining irreverence and expertise, on the docket is anything remotely related to sexual, reproductive and bodily autonomy; from the indigenous menstrual practices of the Hupa Valley tribe, to beauty confidence advice from Dita von Teese, anal sex pro tips from Jessica Drake, and Cyberstalking with Amber Heard. Join these slutty scholars as they help to make your sex smarter, and your smarts sexier.
Sluts & Scholars is one of Cosmopolitan's "Hot Podcasts to Listen To." Nicoletta Heidegger is a licensed MFT and sexologist. She chats with folks from across sexuality, kink, and professional spectrums about desire, pleasure, shame, stigma and (of course) bodily functions. Combining irreverence and expertise, on the docket is anything remotely related to sexual, reproductive, and bodily autonomy. From the indigenous menstrual practices of the Hupa Valley tribe, to beauty confidence advice from Dita von Teese, and anal sex pro tips from Jessica Drake, tune in to make your sex smarter and your smarts sexier. Loving Disclaimer: Sluts and scholars is a sex positive, shame-free, educational podcast where we try to help you make your sex smarter and your smarts sexier. While we love to give advice and resources, please note that this podcast is not intended to be therapy or a replacement for therapy. Thanks for tuning in and we hope you enjoy!
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